The Down and Dirty of Relationship Goals

While scrolling through the internet, I came across a photo of a celebrity couple set against an iconic background, dressed to the nines with smiles from ear to ear. As I read through the comments, I noticed a pattern. Many of them contained a familiar term - #relationshipgoals. 

In recent years I’ve seen this hashtag on everything from t-shirts and book titles to talk shows and commercials. All of them seemingly infer that the relationship goals to be desired are what is portrayed in movies, on the TV screen, and through social media. While the couples being admired portray blissful relationships, we all know that everything that glitters isn’t gold. If we can’t depend on the highlight reels of social media and the glitz of the silver screen to be our relationship blueprint then what can we depend on?

As a three-time survivor of divorce, I’ve come to realize that there’s only one real goal in relationships and that’s the goal of being in a healthy relationship. When relationships are healthy, they promote emotional wellness. When relationships are unhealthy, you may feel drained, overwhelmed, and invisible. Relationships are tricky and each one is as unique as a snowflake. Just as no two are alike, no two relationships will ever be the same. What is a surefire win is certain characteristics of relationships that support growth, happiness, and longevity. Here are a few to get you started. 

Trust & Respect

Trust is established over the course of a relationship by showing consistency in words and actions. Each person in the relationship should have confidence in one another. If you are questioning whether to trust someone, it is important to communicate your feelings to them. If you have lost trust in them, take an inventory of what is causing you to not trust your partner. Is it something they did, or is it something you’ve experienced in other relationships? It’s important to not make your current partner pay for mistakes made in a previous relationship. 

Healthy Boundaries

Healthy boundaries are physical, emotional, and mental limits a person sets for themselves that allow personal access by another person. Healthy boundaries are fences and not walls. Fences have gates that let good things in and keep bad things out. A person with healthy boundaries understands that making their expectations clear helps in two ways: it establishes what behavior you will accept from other people, and it establishes what behavior other people can expect from you. It is important to communicate your boundaries in a relationship. Only you can teach people how to treat you. 

Open Communication

In a healthy relationship, everyone involved should be able to communicate feelings, opinions, and beliefs. The goal is to effectively articulate your thoughts in such a way that the other person understands them as intended. But on the same hand, your partner should also try to understand what you are communicating. Many times, confusion comes into play when trying to read each other’s minds or read between the lines. This never ends well. Figuring out the best ways to express your feelings together will help eliminate miscommunication.

These characteristics of healthy relationships are just a start. You’ll know when your relationship is on the right track when it has value added to it by each partner giving to the relationship. Remember, a happy life journey together means giving the best of who you are for the common good of the relationship while retaining your individuality. This is what to strive for in your #relationshipgoals.

This article was originally published in the June 2023 article of Power Conversations Magazine - https://whatsuperpower.com/power-conversations-1/f/the-down-and-dirty-of-relationship-goals